So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
