dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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