dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
