Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
