someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
