I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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