Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
