The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
