It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
