How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
