he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
