then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
