Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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