Nicole vs. Life
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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