I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
