come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
