Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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