I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
