My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
