..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
