They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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