My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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