I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm determined to sit on that face.
did i just pee glitter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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