he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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