my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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