Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
