Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
