Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
