We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
