Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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