We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
