Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
