So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
