you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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