I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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