So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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