Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
high people should be assigned attendants
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
