Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
