Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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