8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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