Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
look no pants
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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