she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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