McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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