she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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