That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
