Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
