batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
