is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
