Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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