i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
