My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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