i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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